Yeah. I’ll skip my interpersonal obession for a moment. For those who enjoy the read, and think it’s ‘cute’ well it’ll probably be back later. But for a change of pace I’ll do something a little different.
Self Doubt!
Hurray! Oh wait . . . oh nevermind. Yes time for a little artisy self doubt time. I am an aspiring artist I must fill the role right? *ahem* Here I go.
This is one of the several times that I doubt my art. I doubt why I do it and I doubt that it will every turn into anything. To those who have seen it and say I’m crazy for doubting . . . well maybe I am . . . a little. or maybe a lot. I donno. Suffice to say I have been told that artists do art every day. They do it because they have to, it is a compulsion. Then jump to me. Art blog has not been updated in God-only-knows how long. Lots of talk about starting an online comic. And a couple nearly full sketchbooks.
This is not much to go on and is hardly a stellar start. Granted the sketch books a nearly full but I know people who have stacks and stacks and stacks of the damn things filled and over flowing with at least passable art. Most of the stuff is actually quite good! Then I look at mine. I know I know. Don’t compare! But you try it. Show me someone who doesn’t compare themselves to anyone else and I’ll show you a self absorbed idot or God. It like trying to describe the color yellow without saying yellow. Not impossible but frigging hard! But I digress. Do I feel the compulsion to do art? Can I make a living at it? Will I end up at a McJob? ::shudder:: God. Not a Mc Job. Grrrr! Why is it that I have to doubt myself? And if I doubt myself does that mean I am making a mistake? Should I have stuck to English? Should I switch to Creative Writing? ::mutter grumble:: Why is the no answer? ::sigh::
Well at least I now can say that I’m not a complete loser. I actually found a girl that I’m attracted to . . . and she’s attracted to me. I wonder what’s ‘wrong’ with her? ::ducks:: Just joking. I thought I was going to avoid this self doubt/abuse. Oh well.
I’m really not in a bad way . . . but I did need to get that off my chest. That and these spam mails for breast enlargements. What the hell am I, a guy, going to do with brest enlargements? I’m still quite a few years before man boobs. And by the time I get those, enlargements will be the last thing on my mind. Although I really don’t want them in the first place. Icky. Okay. This just got really weird. I’ll let you all go now before I give you mind rot. Take care.
A Geekish View of Life 