If any of you who actually read this and have been keeping up every now and then you can probably guess what’s next.
Time for Another Bout of Self Doubt
Yep. It’s been kinda eating at me for awhile now. Not that I think I’m some horrible beast … but every so often I wonder if I’m actually doing the right thing. Here’s my most current thought on it. In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul spends the whole section talking about love. For some of you this is old hat. We’ve heard about the “Love Chapter” since we were old enough to get the “birds and bees” chat. Yet, recently it has become apparent why it exists and why it is ordered like it is. It’s is a lot of typing but if you want the full text it is here. The part that people really love to quote is the section of verses from 4 to 8a (the “a” indicates the first sentence or only the beginning of the verse). I’ll mention the first one right now because that is the one that is kinda hitting me. 1 Cor. 13:4a “Love is patient …”
Why’s that so important to me right now? Well I think I’m beginning to understand it. I’m not going to explain why … suffice to say my girlfriend is opening whole new vistas for me. But after camp I got the chance to go see her. This is very very good! I like it. I realize that kinda goes without saying but it does present some new situations for me. One of the first of which is that she finds me physically attractive. (Still getting used to that.) Plus she is very physically affectionate. Nothing taboo but very very cuddlely. Anyway. My personality is what some people affectionately call the “pleaser”, which means that we tend to do things that we’re really not too sure about or even don’t want to do to make the other happy. She’s told me that it’s okay to move at my pace but … sometimes I push myself … because … well my “title” says it all, the “pleaser”.
The point! Yes, the point. I know you all have lives to live.
“Love is patient …”, love takes its time. Love doesn’t need to rush itself anywhere. Love exists independent of time and place. Love is constant. Love is action. Love is patient. It waits for appropriate timing. I’m still learning this. Slowly, but surely, God is beating it into my skull. Not that it’s bad, that I have done anything “wrong”. I don’t feel accused but also being a perfectionist I’m always afraid of being wrong. So the point is, if you’re “in love”, take you time. Be patient. If you think the other is worth waiting for. Actually wait! Don’t half ass or crap out near the finish line. Persevere. Stand strong. Pray. Then trust. That’s all. Take care all.
Oh and I have a new post in the art blog too.