::sigh:: It’s almost 5 am … I’m still awake … damn it. Stupid Samurai Champloo. Oh well.
I had an odd thought today. What if … what it I really don’t like art? What if I don’t really enjoy making it. What if I picked it because it was less troublesome than Computer Science? [::shudder:: So …. much math …. ::shudder::] I mean seriously … I am more excited about other people doing art than I am about myself doing art. I guess I am still not sure what the point of my doing art is. I mean if I were to stop … would it really make a difference. Would anyone besides the people who know I ever did it, even notice that I ever held a pencil for something other than taking memos? Would they even care? Would I even care? Am I being down on myself … eh … maybe. But that doesn’t make this an invalid line of questioning.
Do any of us actually know … well no … thats me being an egotistical ass, thinking that the world is anything like me. Life path … destiny … the future … what ever. It’s always out there … it’s never here or now. It is like a dangling carrot … ever out of reach. Yeah yeah … shoot for the moon … you’ll always end up among the stars … yadda yadda. I donno. Maybe I’m just putting things off again. It’s a bad habit of mine … get excited leap into the air only to turn around and land back on the platform I just left, like Samus or Mario or Sonic or MegaMan. Or in my case Mega Dork. I can’t move forward … and the screen has shifted so I couldn’t go backward if I tried.
I donno what I’m saying … I’m just running off at the mouth. Don’t mind me. Stupid 5 am ranting. Blah.