My wife is wise beyond her years. This morning she was telling me some thoughts on love. And out of that came gems that could sink the Titanic.
- Love must be an act of free will to be real.
- Love is action.
- To this I add, God is love therefor God is action.
If you feel like this isn’t exactly mind blowing, then you’re probably a much more emotional mature person. But for me it was a shot to the head. The fact that it’s my head that does most of the leading in my life is part of my trouble, not enough heart leading. I’m not always sure what heart leading will look like, but I know I gotta try. I can’t love if I’m holding my heart in check.
Stepping out/stepping up is difficult for me. My personality seeks to be at peace with all around me. I have taken that to an extreme that says “Peace with all around me at all costs”. This is not a good way to live. I have put myself in a very detrimental emotional position, because I have put so much of myself in the hands of others. But I am not satisfied with this situation. It is my goal to change this. To make my life my own.
This change in stance on my part may cause some tension between myself and others, but I’m gonna have to learn to weather and deal with that. I don’t think it will cost me any relationships. Which is what I was mostly running from. I will learn that people can be agreeable without having to agree. I also need to be okay with the fact that not everyone I encounter is going to like me. This is harder for me than I would have thought, but I’m not giving up. I need to be my own person, have my own life, and love. And the love will come out of the security that I have in who I am, and that the person who I am is loved.