While talking with my lovely, and insightful, wife about my previous post about fear and failure we ventured deeper and tried to root out the source of this fear. It is in my mind set that interprets and amplifies the negative. This negativity undercuts my confidence, which feeds my fear, which keeps me in a defensive state achieving little. This also gets in the way of some ‘basic’ conversation skills like “I am” or “I believe” statements.
For some of you who have been here for awhile you may remember an earlier attempt at turning this around, my “One Positive Thing A Day” effort. And as you can see on the page it was not the success I was hoping it would be. Well I’m going to try something like it again, but with a more realistic goal – inspired by Christy. I’m scaling back from one year to one month, specifically April 2012. I’m also changing the parameters a bit. The goal to produce a hand drawn bit of type that is an “I” statement. I’m feeling inspired by Kyle Steed and Sean McCabe. The images will go up as is, be it messterpiece or masterpiece, by 10 PM (PST er GMT -8 or is that PDST buh time change).
So here’s the rundown:
Goal: Create a piece of hand drawn art for each day of April, as a meditation on how and whom I am.
Time: 30 days
What do I hope to accomplish:
- Meditate & focus on positive self affirmation
- Make more art
- Practice expressing myself with conviction
- Foster a more holistic view of myself
- Want to do something and complete it
What am I trying to defeat:
- My need to devalue myself
- Lack of art/image making
- My inner critic
- The atrophy of my creative muscles
- The feeling of being a failure if I don’t do it ‘perfectly’
I will start writing the statements I want to say now so that I can focus on the artwork later. While giving myself the option of changing the text at any time up until the work is posted. I’ll be posting these to my art/sketch blog and when the month is over I’ll collect them all into one page. I’ll probably also post them on my DeviantArt account too.